It's In the Stars by Buffy Andrews

Author:Buffy Andrews [Andrews, Buffy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781474030755
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2015-09-16T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eighteen

Sunday, July 31

Express yourself in bold and flirty ways. Be daring and unafraid to go after what you want. Tonight: Say Yes.

Shit! My abdominal muscles were killing me. Guess I overdid it on the sit-ups last night. I climbed into the shower and let my mind wander. I thought about my last long-term relationship. It was before I moved here. I started dating someone because I was lonely, and before I knew it he wanted a commitment. I didn’t want to repeat that mistake. While I liked Hottie Advertising Guy, there was something about Blue Boxers, er Alex, that made me tingly inside. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt butterflies like that, and I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like Alex had a whole lot going for him. He delivered pizzas for Christ’s sake. And yet there was something about him that was so dreamy it made me turn to liquid.

I thought about Horoscope and what it said about being daring and going after what I want. Career-wise, I wondered if I’d be a journalist forever. I can’t imagine doing anything else, and yet I’m not naïve to think I will do this job forever. I recently wrote a story about people who made mid-life career changes. I have decades to figure out what I want to do forever, I suppose.

When it comes to what I want out of a relationship, it’s a bit more complicated. Jen says I’m a contradiction, and she’s right. I am. On the one hand I value my independence and that I’m strong and confident and can take care of myself. On the other hand, I want to be treated like a lady. I want a guy to open the door for me and plan and pay for the dinner. I like being taken care of, and not just in bed. So I know I need someone who understands this about me and knows when to let me do my own thing and when to treat me like a princess and take care of me. For a guy, I understand I’m probably as confusing as hell. But that’s what I want. That’s what I’m going after. I have no idea if a man like this is even out there. Maybe I want too much, expect too much. But I’m going to go after what I want. Whether I find him is yet to be seen.

Maybe I needed to up my hotness game. I needed to find just the right clothes to wear to the laundromat. Sexy but simple. A little cleavage to entice, but not so much that I came across as if I was looking to score. Maybe a pair of jeans shorts and a white tank that accentuated my girls. I wish I could wear strappy sandals like most woman, but thanks to my hammer toe that’s out of the question. I once wore flip-flops and covered my hammer toe with a Band-Aid, but that seemed to draw even more attention.

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